i've been struggling with depression for 5 years now. I was steadily working on it, finding Gavin's show definitely helped, but Ive been struggling at work for the past 3 years. I seemed to be coping just alright, I even started doing sports recently and so on, but today everything crumbled and havent been able to even step out of bed. I had a sort of mental breakdown I guess (for lack of a better word).
Quitting my job is not an option because where I live the unemployment rate is around 15%-20%, I am well-paid for this country's standards and I am the breadwinner of the household.
So yeah, I could use some advice from you guys.
Go see your family doctor and be honest.
I did, but besides meds she could only offer me 15 days of medical leave. I wish I could use that, but my bosses will want to know what is my illness and so on. They do not respect privacy and if I refuse to disclose why the doctor thought I needed to be on medical leave I will end up fired. It's not worth it, although I feel genuinely sick every labor day.
Boxing is what you are looking for. Thai boxing changed my life
I just started fitboxing. I hadnt done any sport for the past 15 years or so, but I am sure that once I am back in shape I will start muay thai or real boxing.
Do you drink alcohol?
No, i dont do drugs either. I do use Diazepam when I am so stressed out I cant sleep. Maybe once per week or so.
Maybe this was just me but after using any type of benzos when I wake up the next day I'm super depressed.
Just speaking from my own experience, benzos have the capability to cause depression. And if I was taking just one a week that would be torture because I would just be restarting the cycle again and again.
That happened to me when I was given orfidal. Next day I was almost suicidal for no reason. But you may be right, maybe this time i had a "bad trip".
Yeah don't quit during this type of shit, definitely exercising helps. When COVID hit and I started working from home I found I had plenty of time so I started reading and light exercise. The first day I could barely do 10 pushups and less than 10 days later I was doing 3 sets of 30. I just do basic stuff like pushups and try to stretch as much as I can and it definitely helps me feel better. You don't have to go crazy, just force yourself to do at least a little bit everyday.
Yeah I guess it's the endorphins and dopamine and shit but regardless, you really don't have to go nuts with it you can ease into it and you'll still benefit. OP before you decide it's not for you, I challenge you to try some light exercise for the next 5 days and if you feel it has done nothing for you then fine, but I'm willing to bet you'll notice the difference.
On Saturday I went out for a long walk in the morning and also in the afteernon.
On Sunday, however, I just felt I wanted to die. I wanted to go out but simply couldnt. I only ate icecream and some other shit and spent money as if I was Ryan. €60 on shit I dont even need.
I was €5000 in debt at the beginning of the year, and I have managed to lower it to €3200 or €3300 - which is still a lot - by controlling spending to the last dime. That included going to work and coming back on foot to spend less on transportation. I just fucked everything up yesterday.
Eating shit + spending €60 on useless shit made me feel like a total failure.
Idk what else to do. Maybe I will increase my fitboxing sessions to 3 per week.
I already cut down my caffein - this was a recommendation made bt Biggs cousin in some of his early shows and it did really work for me - and sugar intake, but probably need to pay more attention to my diet.